John Was Old. And Bald. But I'll Be Back. You Betcha!! ; the Sarah Palin Diaries

Summary

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SUNDAY, 1pm, Alaska Up early to harpoon some Beluga whales in Cook Inlet before church and before they're listed as an endangered species by the pantywaist liberal environmentalists. Me and my "vicedude" Todd are back in Alaska, gettin' away from the campaign trail for a spell. Gettin' back to nature. Then killin' bits of it. You betcha! It was just us and the smell of seaspray and whale blood. Our daughter Bristol was knittin' camouflage babygros for our first grandchild (Todd's already picked out the shotgun for her wedding to that meathead Levi, I mean our dear son-in-law-to-be). Our other daughter, Piper, was reading Genesis to baby Trig (you can't start the lil' critters too early on the righteous path). And our boy Track is, of course, keeping the free world safe for democracy in Iraq. Or is it Iran? I get those guys all muddled.

The polls say me and John McCain are seven points behind but I know we have God, and ordinary Americans, and even the French on our side. Just today Mr Sarcastic, the governor of Franceland, called me up to suggest a hunting trip with his lovely new wife, Frank Bruno. I've also heard that a southern Christian gentleman called Larry Flynt is making a movie about me called Nailin' Palin. An account of how I've been crucified by the commie media for spending $90,000 dollars on suits that can conceal a shoulderholster, I guess.

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John Was Old. And Bald. But I'll Be Back. You Betcha!! ; the Sarah Palin Diaries

MONDAY, 4pm, airborne John visited seven states today, which is ...

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